Wingin’ It #60: Voicemail Show
In an effort to make things all purdy-like and save a little bit of room, I’m editing that which Joe so graciously posted recently. No content has been removed, ya freaks. - Evo
Featuring this week: Mike, Evo, Joe, Jack, and Charlie. Once again, where’s Eliza? And don’t forget– Debbie the silent studio audience.
The voicemails:
- Ary from Boston wants to be a boy of Summer.
- Darryl from Austin needs him some wheels.
- Chad from D.C. has a GREAT idea for DragonCon.
- A call for Mike and Evo look-a-likes.
- Discussion of DragonCon. Gonna be sweet.
- Darryl from Austin gives us a somewhat sad PSA. Raise your glasses to Bob the cat.
- Darryl from Austin is drunk, and awaiting his bus.
- What to pack for SubCon in Germany?
- Lucy(?) Imp(?) No idea. Trying to drum us up some interviews.
- Rob in Disneyworld in Small World hell.
- Adam in Boston trying to get laid, gets run over by a car. Whaddaya gonna do?
- Pumpking bowling and car surfing. These are your heroes, folks.
- What semi-felonious fun did you engage in when you were a teen? Send us a V-mail and let us know.
- Kurt from Calgary. Go Hockey!
- Darryl from Austin. Some people want to ban ice cream trucks. Fuckin’ commies.
- Darryl from Austin. Coolest accident ever! Guess you had to be there.
- Martem from Sweden. We need more Tee! Could he be drunk?
- Adam from Boston with a brillian idea to get us some extra bucks. Send us money!
- Mick loves our format, and suggests a beer. Dude, get some sleep.
- The Linux cowboy taunts us with his beer.
- Mike and Evo language lesson: the proper pronunciation of Quebec.
- Andrew from R&D whines about why he changes ingredients. We appreciate your sacrifice.
- Rhettro pulls Jim from Michigan out of his celebrity closet.
- Karen from Kalifornia gave us a gift. Bout time you remembered, Mike. Um, how are all these items related?
- Sarah from Charleston calling from the Rocky Horror Picture Show!
- Sarah fron Charleston wants a SoaP callback line for the show. Any suggestions?
- Kevin from California and “friend” want a messege from Summer.
- Gil from Millwalkie had lunch with Rhettro. Near the studio, and didn’t come in. Thanks, Gil.
- Ary from Boston wants a signed bottle opener. Find them under Cool Wingin’It Swag.
- Debbie buys a signed bottle opener! Debbie is the best.
- Apparently we need to set up a server in Austria. OR ELSE!
- Philip from Australia corrupts the youth in the land of Oz
- Doug from the back forty calls Bullshit! on the waiting for marriage rant.
- Doug from Alaska notices a trend in the names of our fans.
- Philip from Australia is converting, but he doesn’t know which cult to join. He wants the cult leaders to give him their best offers: Lending Tree style.
- Alvie from Boulder received his bottle opener, and bread ties.
- Andrea thanks Phil for his last Voicemail.
- Phil from Australia sends an irritating voicemail.
- Darryl just heard a dude use a bad fake accent to pick up the honeys.
- Maurie from Australia has had a few drinks. But he can still read the label, so he hasn’t had enough.
- John Boze with another offer for Joe.
- Mike bitches about corn syrup. Again.
- You want asswater? I got your asswater, right here!
- Damn you, Phil!
- Martem tells us the proper way to spell his name, and it uses punctuation. So, screw it.
- Martem again. In Sweden, they get a day off work for May Day.
- Karen from Kalifornia thanks Jeremy for a new euphamism. I so can’t wait to meet this woman.
Submitting Listener comments: If you have any suggestions or comments, please let us know. You can call our Voicemail Number, 206-600-GEEK, or email Michael with a comment you’ve recorded yourself!
May 19th, 2006 at 8:32 am
Yea! Section 31 has to go on hold now. LOL
May 19th, 2006 at 9:01 am
Oh, Rhett…. Priceless!
May 19th, 2006 at 9:17 am
LOL That was good Rhettro!
May 19th, 2006 at 9:24 am
I left another VM to Saying who i played at the show, and explaining a little bit about callback lines, but im at work, so i only had a second in whihc to do so… when i have more time, ill explain it more in depth
Well at least that’s over
once you get the first time over with, it gets much less painful ;)\
now lets see if i can even post this, since the bot ate me last time
May 19th, 2006 at 10:05 am
Sarah, I am supprised they didn’t really catch on what you aere asking for. I have only seen RHPS a couple of times, but I will try to come up with one fer ya…as long as you eat a cookie off my lap.
May 19th, 2006 at 10:25 am
Karen, your cult sounds rad, and by rad I mean wet and slurpy.
…in a good way…
…uh.
May 19th, 2006 at 10:34 am
Hey thanks Alvie & Gil. Loved your stuff too. Good job Gil for getting a phuk u from Michael. LOL Alvie, I wish I could manage your loose style, my delivery is still a bit stiff. Oh and Karen? Can I be a member in your… Wow, I feel really dirty right now.
May 19th, 2006 at 10:39 am
Did Rhett just call me loose?
May 19th, 2006 at 10:56 am
In a communitive way, not a Brokeback Mountain kind of way. LOL
May 19th, 2006 at 10:58 am
Or a Bareback Mountain sort of way.
I blame myself for going to lunch with Rhettro instead of having him take me to the studio. How was I to know that it was only seven miles away. LOL But then again, in traffic, that could have translated to an hour drive.
I wonder if there’s a waiting list to get into Karen’s Kult?
May 19th, 2006 at 11:01 am
Well, shit.
I had my phone up to the crowd when the game-winning-goal was scored shortly into the THIRD period of OT! I could only guess how long I had to keep the line open because you couldn’t hear fuck all over the croud. When I called back in after the game and noticed that Evo’s outgoing message was longer than a pre-voicemail show episode of wingin’ it, my fears of not keeping on the line long enough were confirmed.
May 19th, 2006 at 11:03 am
Wow Karen Id join your cult if you went that way
May 19th, 2006 at 11:08 am
Well, shit.
I had my phone up to the crowd when the game-winning-goal was scored shortly into the THIRD period of OT! I could only guess how long I had to keep the line open because you couldn’t hear fuck all over the croud. When I called back in after the game and found out that Evo’s outgoing message was longer than a pre-voicemail show episode of wingin’ it, my fears of not keeping on the line long enough were confirmed.
May 19th, 2006 at 11:28 am
So you did call me loose. You called me loose and you described yourself as stiff. Man, I swear…
May 19th, 2006 at 11:34 am
Loose…stiff…loose…stiff…
Insert tab “a” into slot “b”…
May 19th, 2006 at 11:36 am
DID YOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME “TAB A”, GIL??!??!?!?!
May 19th, 2006 at 11:38 am
No no.. no tabbing there Gilbert. Weren’t you the one talking about licking “flagpoles” in the other thread?
May 19th, 2006 at 11:40 am
oh no you guys are tumbling out of control again…. Cant we all get along? Group hug everyone, group hug.
May 19th, 2006 at 11:43 am
Hell no. Not this time. Im done with this. Im gone and Im not coming back.
Till Im done with lunch. Then Ill come back.
May 19th, 2006 at 11:44 am
I think I just stepped into a 3-way and then Andrea walks in… *sigh* I see a BM sequel coming. I miss all the fun. LOL
May 19th, 2006 at 11:46 am
Alvie, yes, please come back
May 19th, 2006 at 11:48 am
I am the Lord thy God and I say quit calling Alvie Gay via bad metaphores, or I will smite thee down and thou shalt shurely die!
May 19th, 2006 at 11:50 am
Shit I just realized lunch isnt for another half hour.
Thank you Big Guy. Thank you for sticking up for me when others wouldnt.
I praise you. Amen.
May 19th, 2006 at 11:50 am
Because yea, assuredly Alvie is my homeboy…
…bitches.
May 19th, 2006 at 11:53 am
Strait up, Papa!
May 19th, 2006 at 11:54 am
Hey, where is Rossi-Poo?
May 19th, 2006 at 11:55 am
awww, the love in this room right now….. I think im gonna cry……
May 19th, 2006 at 11:55 am
Quiet ODB, I told you you can’t use that name here!
May 19th, 2006 at 11:56 am
Lo, I can ask for no one better to have my back.
And if anyone turns that into an “Alvie is gay” (not that theres anything wrong with that) reference, surely I will save my Lord the trouble and kill you myself
May 19th, 2006 at 11:58 am
Your right, Andrea. Gil, Alvie - I love you man (men?)! Ok not in that way, but you know what I mean.
May 19th, 2006 at 11:58 am
Nah, Nah, das Big Baby Jesus, main. Na Sweet Baby Jesus.
May 19th, 2006 at 11:59 am
Rossi-poo is too busy for us
May 19th, 2006 at 11:59 am
Rossi-poo is joining the married club, isnt he?
May 19th, 2006 at 11:59 am
How could that be a “Alvie is gay” reference if you are already an ass man? LOL
Heck, I’m an ass man…and a leg man…and a bewb man…jeez, I’ll just take the entire female package please.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:05 pm
Because.
Thats why.
Because. because, because. Nyah Nyah.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Do you know the muffin man? Yeah, that’s me.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:07 pm
Alvie- yes he is joining the married ranks very soon (poor poor Phil)
God, YHWH or sweet baby Jesus or the Prophets or whomever is up there I wish I had some frackin’ work to do today!!!!!!
Speaking of missing people, where the hell is Karen?????
May 19th, 2006 at 12:07 pm
ok. now. lunch.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
Karen?
Karen’s in Kalifornia of course! LOL
May 19th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
Thanks Gil. i was really confused there for a while
May 19th, 2006 at 12:13 pm
Mmm…muffins are always good.
Hrm…that’s right. Haven’t heard from KfK in a while, but I am looking forward to the new pod from Karen, Andrea and Dani. =)
May 19th, 2006 at 12:14 pm
Ahhhh Karen. I miss Karen.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:15 pm
Yah, Patman is really into muff’s aren’t ya Patman?
Glad to help Andrea! We don’t want you too corn fused.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
Surely Patman is. LOL
May 19th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
Oh god Gil there is a bad joke there… but I am too much of a lady to go there (or am I?…. hmmmm) Corn fused HA!
May 19th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
Oh I need to clarify- the new podcast is actually all Karens. Dani and I are just going to add things here and there.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:23 pm
OOO, I have a new term to coin…
Muffin, Noun. The slight bulge in a womans panties when she has a big muff.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Thanks for the clarification Andrea. It’s all good. Still looking forward to it. I just hope I don’t break my bunk.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:25 pm
LOL You know you want to go there though Andrea. It’s Friday for goodness sakes all the more reason to go.
Mmmm…I’d like to get a listen at that podcast when it comes out as well!
May 19th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
“OOO, I have a new term to coin…
Muffin, Noun. The slight bulge in a womans panties when she has a big muff.”
You should add, not to be confused with the term “camel toe” Jeremy.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
The Bunkenators! Should be good stuff.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
Looks like another Friday at work, hitting the F5 key. LOL
May 19th, 2006 at 12:29 pm
Though…we could redefine “camel toe” as a “split muffin”. LOL
May 19th, 2006 at 12:31 pm
Maybe you should be a guest on Andrea’s and Jeremy’s segment Gil, just to clarify things.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:33 pm
I am royally pissed off. I got up early to download the show, and had to leave before it finished. Wahhh. But Jack saved the day. Love the Deadpan. Glad to see you all miss me, ’cause you are special….
I hereby dub thee, Sir Rhettro, Purveyor of Muff, Diver of Deep Thoughts.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:35 pm
Where’s Mark from Memphis? Haven’t heard from him lately. Is something wrong in the ‘verse?
May 19th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Purveyor of Muff, Diver of Deep Thoughts.
LOL
Nice.
How about just Muff Diver for short?
May 19th, 2006 at 12:37 pm
True Gil- its Friday its beautiful out here and I AM SO BORED!!!!!!!!! So why not go there?
May 19th, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Muff, Diver you mean.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
We should all go there Andrea.
And yes, finally a Friday when it isn’t raining up in the area, but alas, we are stuck inside. Better than stuck in traffic, but maybe traffic would be better because then at least you would be outside where you could roll down the windows and breath the fresh carbon monoxide from the cars around you.
Hrm.
That doesn’t sound good either.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:40 pm
Woohoo! Thanks for the custom title Karen.
May 19th, 2006 at 12:48 pm
Karen, what do I have to do to get a title like that?! *bowing* =(
May 19th, 2006 at 12:49 pm
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm yeah yeah
MUFF DIVER you’ve been down too long in the midnight sea oh what’s becoming of me
Ride the tiger you can see his stripes but you know he’s clean oh don’t you see what I mean
Gotta get away MUFF DIVER yeah
Got shiny diamonds like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue something is coming for you look out
Race for the morning you can hide in the sun ’till you see the light oh we will pray it’s all right
Gotta get away get away
Between the velvet lies there’s a truth that’s hard as steel yeah
The vision never dies life’s a never ending wheel say
MUFF DIVER you’re the star of the masquerade no need to look so afraid jump jump
Jump on the tiger you can feel his heart but you know he’s mean some light can never be seen yeah
MUFF DIVER you’ve been down too long in the midnight sea oh what’s becoming of me no no
Ride the tiger you can see his stripes but you know he’s clean oh don’t you see what I mean
Gotta get away get away gotta get away get away
MUFF DIVER sole survivor your honour’s clean
MUFF DIVER MUFF DIVER never cut in the middle comin’ after you MUFF DIVER
Oh holy diver yeah alright get away get away get away
MUFF DIVER MUFF DIVER whoa MUFF DIVER hmm hmm hmm hmm
May 19th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Oh Karen, what have you started?
May 19th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Yes, that was me trying to get interviews. I really hope you guys appreciate it too!!
May 19th, 2006 at 12:55 pm
Dio has rocked for a long, long time,
Now it’s time for him to pass the torch.
He has songs of wildebeests and angels,
He has soared on the wings of a demon.
It’s time to pass the torch,
You’re too old to rock, no more rockin’ for you.
We’re takin’ you to a home,
But we will sing a song about you.
May 19th, 2006 at 1:00 pm
You guys rock!
May 19th, 2006 at 1:11 pm
WOO HOOOOO My day just got brighter!!! The ad agency I work for just landed a big account so the BAR IS OPEN!!!!!!!!
May 19th, 2006 at 1:16 pm
Congrats Andrea! Now you shouldn’t be so bored. Sounds like a potential VM call in opprotunity.
May 19th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
And the taco met the bell, and it was good. And it was cheap, and close by, and Alvie did eat, and smoked, and got fat and happy.
May 19th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
YAY Alvie!!!!!
Yes I am feeling much better now I have a frosty glass of raspberry vodka and soda. Yummy!!!!!
May 19th, 2006 at 1:27 pm
this sucks, that i cant post comments
on here, becuase the damn bot ate me…. sucks sucks sucks
May 19th, 2006 at 1:30 pm
Damn. Theres nothing frosty about today for me.
May 19th, 2006 at 1:32 pm
That’s it, I’m moving to Chicago to work at Andrea’s Job. I’ll even be the Janitor…come on! Bar at the workplace?
Welll, we do have some Killians in the Fridge here, and its Friday…come 4 maybe I’ll crack one open.
May 19th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Sweet YES! I got the 69! Now MY day is looking up. Or around, or upside down, or whatever.
May 19th, 2006 at 1:44 pm
69 duuuude!!! Best number there is!
Yea for Andrea! Yea for everyone!
May 19th, 2006 at 1:49 pm
Indeed, Gil. Yay for everyone.
May 19th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
It’s like that Dr. Seuss book, “Great Day for Up!”
Oh and Jeremy, sweet work on your website! And Alvie, those comparision pics are scary on yours. Scary in a funny sort of way, not scary in a WMD sort of way. LOL
May 19th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
You know you guys Im feeling the Wingin it love right now. I love you all– or maybe thats just the vodka talking. The only drawback to drinking here is that I need to stop with enough time to be able to drive home sober.
May 19th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Water! Water! Initiate the two drinks to one glass of water thing ah mah bob. Well at least that’s what helps me.
What sucks is when you break the seal. LOL
May 19th, 2006 at 2:03 pm
“I love you all– or maybe thats just the vodka talking.”
Fucking tease…
May 19th, 2006 at 2:05 pm
Oh jesus, did I just type that out loud? I dinna mean it, dear. Its…Its… its the day. Thats all. Come back honey. Please. Dont make me mad. Dammit youre making me angry. Fucking get back here!!!!!!!! Marta!!!!! God dammit bitch I wont be hear when you get back!!! Marta!!!! Im taking the kids!!!!! Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!
***slam***
May 19th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
“hear”..hee hee. time to shut it down for a while
May 19th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
Pure Genius.
May 19th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
As opposed to Real Genius. You only get that when you pull T-Rexs into the school Gym…wait that was My Science Project…uhhh, when you split lasers to point the way to a kegger.
May 19th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
May I say, sir, I admire your taste in footwear.
May 19th, 2006 at 2:31 pm
Real Genius, now that was a good movie. LOL
Time to head of to a Brewer game! Have a lovely weekend all!
May 19th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
I need to rent it. I haven’t seen it since the 80s. I can’t quote it either…lame.
May 19th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Time for drive home. WIsh me luck.
May 19th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Look at it this way. Considering the type of people you are and the environment you’re in, you have to admit the strong possibility this may be the only chance you ever have in your entire lives… to have sex.
May 19th, 2006 at 2:46 pm
Im back!!! They had a big announcement meeting to tell us all the frackin work we are getting for this new client. Im in sober up mode now.
Alvie- I aint no tease baby. Ive got nothing but love for all my wingin it peeps. Especially Jimmy. I need to spend some quality time with Jimmy. He needs my halp I think.
and uh Chris Knight I plan on having tons more sex so Im not sure what you mean here. Maybe there is a joke Im not getting (again please blame the vodka)
May 19th, 2006 at 3:00 pm
awww… right gigidy goo!
Im heading home. I have made an offering to the traffic gods. Wish me luck-
Have a good weekend. I should be on the chat tomorrow!!
May 19th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
No new offers for Joe thiscoming week, Paul From Elk River is in Boston and distracted by his birthday today. Maybe a good drunk call and/or a WI on the Road pic will come out of this…
May 19th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
Fru Tee Oh Tee Joe?
May 19th, 2006 at 5:02 pm
Dear Andrea,
Pertaining to not getting the “Chris Knight” jokes on this board; please see the movie “Real Genius” for the answers. Any rental or purchase proceeds go directly to my struggling career.
I was Batman goddammit.
Thank you.
May 19th, 2006 at 7:13 pm
Val, I saw that movie many years ago but I do not seem to remember any of it. So I will support you and check it out. Sorry your probably very witty joke was lost on me.
May 19th, 2006 at 7:16 pm
Dont pay any attention to Val, Andrea. He’s just bitter that people still think Iceman is gay.
Not that theres anything wrong with that…
May 19th, 2006 at 7:34 pm
I think he needs some cred for the Salton Sea. Good stuff.
May 19th, 2006 at 8:12 pm
Anything better than the Saint.
May 19th, 2006 at 8:35 pm
No Mark! Theres nothing better than The Saint!
Oh, you werent asking a question…
May 19th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
Yes this is St. Mark how can I help you my son?
May 19th, 2006 at 8:48 pm
Whats Vietnam?
Wait thats Charlie’s question…
The peanut is niether a pea nor a nut. Explain.
May 19th, 2006 at 8:54 pm
Charlie don’t surf, Charlie Brown’s got the revelation on peanuts.
May 19th, 2006 at 11:02 pm
I always thought the peanut was in the legume family which incorporates peas, nuts, and Alive… oh, wait….I lost my train of thought there.
As for Real Genius, Val creates a giant laser that gets launched on a satalite and he uses it to pop pop-corn.
May 20th, 2006 at 7:10 am
Danke J.R.
Ah, legume. Not to be confused with comedian John Legumezamo.
May 20th, 2006 at 8:05 am
So there is a connection between peanuts and the evil clown from Spawn. Glad you guys are here to clear these things up.
May 20th, 2006 at 11:32 am
The Evil Clown always steals the peanuts from the circus.
May 20th, 2006 at 2:45 pm
Dang those clowns!
They scare me.
May 21st, 2006 at 9:26 pm
especially a clown that John Legumezamo had to crouch down and paint himself blue to play.
*shudder*
(btw, i didnt dissappear, i got eaten by the bot…. er.. the clown… becuase i am a peanut…)
(what?)
May 22nd, 2006 at 7:02 am
Yeah, what?
May 22nd, 2006 at 8:01 am
huh?
what?
May 22nd, 2006 at 9:11 am
Did somebody ask to send in the clowns and some pizzas?
May 22nd, 2006 at 9:49 am
and beer.
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:35 am
And porn
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:36 am
AND PIE!
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:38 am
Right Rhettro-and don’t forget to tip your server, and set them back up straight once you’re done tipping them. Will Chino Bandito do instead?
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:45 am
Mr. McPieFace,
Pie with fir or without?
May 22nd, 2006 at 11:13 am
Yes.
May 22nd, 2006 at 11:17 am
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060522/ap_on_he_me/no_more_periods
THANK YOU SCIENCE!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEHA!
May 22nd, 2006 at 11:18 am
2 Douglas fir-pies coming right up. Do you tree huggers all have corn nuts?
May 22nd, 2006 at 11:25 am
Who the fuck hugs trees? I like pie.
May 22nd, 2006 at 11:32 am
http://www.hirsutebeavers.com/s1/index.html?revid=9159&refer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.digitalsmackdown.com%2Ftop10%2Fhairy.html
Then we have pie fo you!
May 22nd, 2006 at 11:40 am
*gurgle
May 22nd, 2006 at 11:51 am
Uh, does that come in chocoalte cream too?
May 22nd, 2006 at 1:04 pm
Ew…
May 22nd, 2006 at 2:04 pm
X 2
May 22nd, 2006 at 5:10 pm
Wasn’t the topic. “Clown Posse?”