http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=entertainmentNews&storyID=2006-08-22T223648Z_01_N22280791_RTRUKOC_0_US-LIFE-USA-SNAKES.xml&archived=False

PHOENIX (Reuters) – Life imitating art is all very well. Unless, that is, it’s a movie about deadly snakes on the rampage.

Movie chain AMC Entertainment Inc. said pranksters at one of its Phoenix theaters released two live diamondback rattlesnakes during a showing of the film “Snakes on a Plane” last Friday. No one was injured.

AMC spokeswoman Melanie Bell said, “One was found in the parking lot during the show, and the other in the movie theater. They were both removed, and no one was harmed.”

The snakes were later released in the desert.

Bell had no further details.

The movie stars Samuel L. Jackson, and spins a yarn about a crate-load of escaped snakes that run amok on an airline flight, attacking passengers and crew.

“There were kids at the show, and it was actually very reckless,” Russ Johnson, the president of the Phoenix Herpetological Society told Reuters.

“The snakes’ bite carries a powerful venom that could have seriously injured someone,” he added.

© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved.

Favorite scene: when Mr Hairplugs gets it – OMG, my wife about came unhinged when that happened – I about pissed my pants laughing!

Damn Dirty Snake rating – 11 (tip of the hat to Spinal Tap)

O.k. the snakes were probably hygenically rather clean, but they are damn sneaky SOBs.

Being a little muzzled by my strait-laced husband, I couldn’t yell out Evo’s quotes as I’d intended. I did scream in laughter at the appropriate moments, though.

And this movie forever proves how men pee all over the bathroom. They’re too busy admiring themselves in the mirror and therefore deserve the aforementioned Clamponhis cockus. Teach you to look down, butthead.

Couldn’t get past the no-Snakes-in-first-class-duct work plot-hole so I had to take .2 point off your scale.

Love, Debbie

Some quick stats on Ashley’s post:

• 40 words, plus two numbers.

• 4 or perhaps 5 sentences: I’m unsure of the quote
• 25 total capital letters
• 2 proper nouns and a single “I”.
• That makes 17 improper capitalizations, or 42.5% of the words in the comment.

Unless of course this is some modern form of poetry, in which case I rescind my nit-pickyness.

The guy glared at me every time I mentioned “snakes”. When I dropped the “English, mutherfucker… do you speak it?” line, I thought he was going to have a coronary right there, he got so fidgetty. He finally had had ENOUGH (how ironic) when we helped Sam deliver THE line and added in the reply. He spun around to me, asking “is that really necessary?”, to which I explained that yes… yes it was.

He grabbed his wife/date/escort and bolted from the the theater, pausing only to call an usher who did a couple of walks up and down the side isle, and nothing more.

Too bad the guy didn’t do a little research on the film he was about to see.

Remember when Mace Windu was facing down Palpatine in the Sith lord’s apartment.

“I am THE baddest jedi in the whole goddamn galaxy – you go up against me and you WILL die. Now sit your wrinkly albino Sith ass down or I will shove this lightsaber so far up your asshole your eyes will glow in the dark.”

The fight starts and shortly Palpatine is on the ropes. Anakin comes in and Palptine calls on young Skywalker to help against Windu.

Windu – “You do NOT want to mess with me!! You may have a high midi-chlorian count, but that don’t mean shit to me. Now back the fuck up and don’t say even ONE goddamn word or I WILL END YOU!!”

Anakin – “What?” – followed by a lazer blast that blows Skywalker’s brain out the back of his skull.

Windu then quotes something from the ancient jedi scrolls and ends the Sith threat for good by slicing the Sith lord cleanly in two from the top of his head through his groin, with the halves falling to the ground slowly away from each other.

After a pause, Windu walks over to what was now Palpatine’s last meal, picks up a morsel and says “Hmmm. Damn, this sure IS some tastety food.”

…O.K. that wasn’t how it happened in the Lucas film, but it would have been more fun if it had.

It’s enough to say that Snakes on a Plane isn’t great cinema, but it sure was fun!!

I humbly apologize to one and all.

I agree w/Jason C. that the snakes could have been a little more charismatic (imagine if the purse-pup and it’s bane had had a “history” before the big moment), but that’s a tad nit-picky for a film that has secured a top spot in the megacheese flick Hall of Fame.

Here’s another nit-pick, from the part of my brain that’s a trained biologist: they used harmless milk snakes to stand in for venomous coral snakes. OK. And when they rendered them in CG, they kept them milk snakes. Points for consistency. But why not just make them coral snakes (using CG to touch up the “real” critters)throughout so that herpetological dorks like me couldn’t go on stupid rants like I just did?

And what about that Euro-trash video over the closing credits?

All that aside, where do I go to cast my vote for Sam Jackson for God?

As the show started the whole theater started hissing. This kept up throughout the whole show, albeit intermittantly. There were cheers, red bull comments, screams, all totally appropreiate for the show.

It was an uproarious good time!

I called in a couple of times to catch the audience, we shall see if I was successsfull.

Oh, three guys went down to the front as the snakes were getting ready to be loosed, and we knew they were up to something. Turns out they were Frat Prospects, and as the countdown hit 0 they all cracked open beers, chugged them and slammed them on the ground. Yay Frat Boys! Dumbasses. But, hey…Snakes on a Plane, man.

Did you like it?

/ducks

-CinemaslaveJoe

What a frolicking good time! I was a little concerned when I walked in the theater 15 minutes before go-time and found a grand total of four people already there. But it quickly filled, most notably by a gang of 20-something kids likely from the local University who quite naturally assumed that they would be the cornerstone of the audience participation.

They were wrong.

Sitting directly in front of me, they were having a great time, nearly pissing themselves with when the Succus nippelus and Clamponhis cockus varieties made their strikes. But they hadn’t seen Pulp Fiction nearly as many times as I did, and my additions of “English, motherfucker. Do you speak it?” and “Shit, NEGRO! That’s all you had to say!” brought peals of laughter and much appreciative hooting and hollering from them, as they sat directly in front of us.

As Thomas and I noted during the viewing, there were a few plot holes large enough to pilot a 747 filled with large poisonous venomous snakes through. But who gives a frog’s fat ass? When the shit hits the fan, the fan continues to be smacked with shit until the end of the flick. This is the kind of movie you need to see again. Some may do so in the theater, but I’m betting the DVD sales are what will really bring this home. I can honestly see major viewing parties as fans expose their virgin friends to the sheer insane fun that was, is and forever will be Snakes on a Plane

Down on the corner trying to get other snakes high “hhhhhhisssssssssssssssssss, hey buddy first hitsssssssssssss for freee hhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssss”

http://snakeplay.pbwiki.com/script

-CinemaslaveJoe

Thirty Thousand Feet
with reptiles on board makes me
ignore critics hiss

There is currenly a poll on CNN asking “Do you plan on watching ‘Snakes on a Plane?’” Unfortunately, the current tally is Yes: 17% with 3353 votes and No: 83% wiht 15905 votes.

I’m pretty sure that the “standard” CNN crowd isn’t the target audience, and I’m even more sure that I really don’t care much about what the “standard” CNN watcher has to say or think. Apologies to all of you who consider yourselves a “standard” CNN watcher. Nah, not really. I don’t care!

New Line is apparently stunned by the overwhelmingly positive reviews for “SoaP”. Ha!

http://us.imdb.com/news/sb/2006-08-18/

-CinemaslaveJoe

For me there just wasnt enough “cheese”, I wanted more cheese.

And I know ill get teased about this, as I already have, but I think the snakes needed more personality. They just seemed like angry snakes, does the job but I wanted a bit more. Take “Eight Legged Freaks” for example, the spiders in that had strong and different personas. And yeah they had a touch of cartoonish style to them, but when they fucked people up they fucked people up. The Snakes in SoaP needed a bit more of that, in my opinon.

well I guess I should give it a number rating like Evo wants, so um…4ish out of 5…on a B-movie popcorn flick scale.

Jim “iBgerd” Dozier pledges permanent allegience to a film he hasn’t yet seen….

http://www.michaelandevo.com/2006/08/18/soapreviews/#comments

J.R.

This one was a whole lot of fun!

Multiple viewings are in order!

-CinemaslaveJoe

Joe here, from the Cinemaslave podcast. Well, I just
got back from “Snakes on a Plane.”

Thanks for single-handedly starting the buzz on this
film. I listened to the Samuel L. Jackson and Jules
Sylvester interviews today prior to the screening,
just to get myself even more psyched up.