Ok, where to begin?
About a week or so ago, I could feel a hard lump on the left side of my belly. This past Saturday, I felt a second lump, so I went to the emergency room. I had a CT scan of my abdomen. Turns out I have a tumor. A big one.
How big, you ask? Imagine, if you will, a tumor the size of a baby. We’ll call him Harry. Harry the Tumor Baby has two little eyes to see with, and a cute little mouth with which to speak.
Imagine if you will, little Harry the Tumor Baby turns over while taking a nap, opens his eyes, sees MY tumor, and yells, “God-damn! That’s a big tumor!”
That’s how big my tumor is.
The doctor says it measures 22cm by 25cm by 12 cm. A cantaloupe, he called it.
Since I have virtually no symptoms other than anemia, the doctors let me go, and we’ll do this on an outpatient basis. I’ll have a needle biopsy tomorrow, and should have the results by Wednesday the 22nd. What we do next depends on the results of the biopsy.
There’s good news and bad news about the tumor, so right now I think I’m 50/50 between coming out of this ok, and being fucked.
I’ll keep everybody posted.
P.S. Because Evo’s a genius, we have named the tumor Kuato.
Great Og, Joe! Best wishes and good thoughts coming your way!
JOE!!!!!
I heart you, Joe! get better!! soon!
Sorry Joe, I wish you the best.
Fuck.
Um… I…. I got nothin but “fuck”…
I heart you Joe Murphy.. you goofy, straw hat wearin, totally cool mutha.
Oh and if this isnt “Fuck 2006″ worthy I dunno what is….
Go get em Tiger *roar*.. beat this shit yo.
Joe, *big hug*
OMG sweetie. I just went through this with my husband.. They found a tumor in his brain after he collapsed one evening last month. But it was benign and removed successfully. I so totally hope you have the same outcome.. really.
I heart you
good luck
you are in my thoughts
andrea
So say we all…
Say it dammit!
Keep us in the loop, and you’re in my prayers.
Stay in touch. Call me if you need to touch base, okay?
SO SAY WE ALL!!!
We are thinking of you. Just remember you have friends.
Hang in there lil joe from kokomo-wishing u good news and return to normal-whatever the fuck that means for u. Peace!
Kudos to you for going public with this, Joe. “Fuck 2006″ indeed.
You have all of my best wishes and support. . . . and my phone number. Don’t forget – you have literally thousands of people pulling for you.
(Note appropriate use of the term, “literally”).
I’m not about to get all teary eye-ed until I have to. So with that spirit, how hard would it be to train the little guy to moan out “Quaaaaaiiiiiiidd… Start the reactor!” as they rip him from your innards?
I may skip kick boxing and watch that with the wife and kid just for you tonight, buddy.
Tell Mike to clear a spot on the mantle in Draco Vista studios. I’m getting a big jar full of formaldehyde, and I’m bringing little Kuato home. We’re going to have a birthday party for him and everything.
I’m giving birth cesarean, ya know.
Just as long as it doesn’t become a punch bowl like that sick Army guy did in “The Mask of Zorro”.
‘Cause that would just be sick.
No, wait, that was actually Antonio Banderas that actually drank from it, wasn’t it?
Hang tough, Joe.
Whether or not you all believe in prayers, there is proof the good vibes they create help, so everyone should pray or at the least keep Positive Joe Vibes (PJVs) in their minds to help him out!
Holy crap that is terrible, hope things go well Joe.
Best wishes, Joe,
You take Kuato and show him who’s the fuckin daddy!
I had to look up the Kuato reference…take it easy Joe, and don’t forget to laugh. Laughter is not the best medicine compared to, say, Johns Hopkins or something, but it’s still pretty good for the soul.
Bronze it if nothing else.
“That’s not a doorstop, that’s my tumor!”
Holy crap, hang in there, man…
Good luck to you Joe. The guys from WANC send you nothing but good and happy vibes!
And in the paraphrased words of SLJ- ” Enough is enough! I have had it with these Muthafuckin’ tumors in Joe’s Muthafuckin’ stomach!!!”
Wishing the best!
Joe,
This SUCKS.
We are pulling for you. Give John or I a call if you need advice or anything. At least John can tell you how to keep Kuato from giving you a STD.. Oh Sorry… John is normally the one with the disgusting jokes.
You’ll be in our thoughts and prayers.
Laura
Ah Joe.
Gotta love a man with a good sense of humor. Everything will work out fine because we say so. You have good thoughts coming from all over the world, so little Kuato doesn’t stand a chance.
Have a good holiday anyway and I’ll see you soon.
Debbie
*mental note* Never drink anything provided by Joe unless it comes in a sealed bottle. No punch bowls for me.
Dude…. I love your sense of humor about this.
I wish you grace in this time of trial, Joe. I may have need of it soon myself. My son has a number of cysts on his brain. Thank God for the miracle of modern medicine, though. You’ll pull through this. You have a great sense of humor and great friends by your side.
SO SAY WE ALL!
Yes, so say we all
Oh yeah! Hopefully you will end up with a cool scar you can show off and impress the ladies!
I hope the birthing goes well for you, make sure your job has decent maternity leave benefits!
[...] Joe Murphy needs some support right now via michaelandevo.com [...]
So say we all!
Joe, your punch bowl sense of humor had better not extend to the First Drink of the Day. Seriously though, I hope you get well soon.
Fucking Hell, Joe!!!
Name the damn thing and then kill the living daylights out of it.
Take care, we’re thinking of you.
Wendy
My official consultation would be to pickle that little Kuato fucker in plenty of beer… if only you liked beer. Maybe Ale-8-One.
As Laura said, I’m available for snarky medical opinions, and to treat Kuato’s syphilis, if need be… you should still have her number.
We are SO making a Letch Carson/Kuato Killer Bunnies card for Dragon*Con next year.
Much luck with the biopsy.
Very sorry to hear the news, man. Here’s to Kickin’ its Ass like a good Ninja is supposed to do!!!!!
-Mark
On Location in Wilimington
Ok… so it’s cheesy but I think we are all geeky enough to appreciate it…
“Now you know…
… and knowing is half the battle.
Yo, Joe!”
Hang tough, sir.
I think I figured it out: your irrational rejection of the human body’s natural need for beer has congealed in the form of this thing. Once they get that sucker out, you’ll be swilling Arrogant Bastard by the gallon. Just watch…
Just think of it…the Joe Murphy Weight Loss Program! “I lost over 22 lbs in one night!”
All kidding aside, we love you Joe. And if you need some encouragement, my ex-husband had less than a 20% chance of living through his surgery. Bastard is still kicking 14 years later!
Oops, was that my outside voice?
Charlie, funny you should use the word “swill.”
Easy on the slamming of AB. Not like it ever did anything mean to you…
Holy shit, Joe! That sucks. I lost my dad to cancer last year. But, obviously you need no advice from me. A positive attitude is the best thing you can have right now, and you’ve got that in spades.
Good luck! You’ll be in my thoughts.
Holy hell. Thoughts and prayers, young jedi… thoughts and prayers…
>>>Easy on the slamming of AB. Not like it ever did anything mean to you…
AB = Anheuser-Busch?
::: ducks :::
Spellingwight, considering my TV show idea in this weeks voicemail I may need to second that thought about drinks from Joe.
Good luck man!
I spoke to you the other day about this day and my thoughts were right; everyone here is pulling for you
We all love you to bits dude
The power of positive wishes be with you.
Joe,
Our prayers are with you. I just heard the bad news today. You’ll pull through and we’ll hook up when I come out there again in July!
Holy Crap!
What Can I say that hasent been said already , Man! I wish you only the best dude!
We All love you and hope for the best ! please keep us posted and let us know if there is any thing we can do to help!
Be Cool!
D
Joe,
Ya brought this on yourself by not drinking beer. Everyone knows that beer prevents tumors!
All kidding aside, you’ll be in my thoughts. Get well and here’s hoping for an easy “birth.”
~Sharon, aka HellZiggy
Sharon, if that’s true, I’ll drink the stuff morning, noon, and night. I’ll bathe in it. I’ll get a rubber hose and send it up the bad way if that’ll help.
That’s fork-in-the-eye level of suck, but on the good side it souds like it was large enough for you to charge it rent.
Hang tough and best of luck.
Joe, my thoughts and prayers and that of my family are with you. Kick this things fucking ass and take names. You are a Ninja. Shoot Ninja Stars at it!!
Much love and concern. . .
Victor
Fingers crossed, positive thoughts and vibes your way, and all.
Good Luck.
Joe,
That was a visual I didn’t need! How ’bout you try to kill Kuato with turkey and all the trimmings instead. Hope you have a good Thanksgiving!
~Sharon